No dollar sign on a peace of mind, this I've come to know

[gladiolusinpurple]

Yesterday I overheard a conversation in a coffee shop about how everyone has a work husband/work wife. At first, I found that kind of silly. The more I rolled the idea around, the more I came to realize...my work husband is a forty-six-year-old front desk agent named Krit.

• We notice each other's appearances.
  • When I wear the lavender suit, he always says "Wow, Taki-chan, you look so hoochie mama."
  • Every day, I fight the urge to shove him down into a chair and pluck that awful unibrow. The man buys expensive face lotion to have the skin texture of a baby's bottom and shops only designer, but won't keep up his brow game. I deserve a medal for my patience.
• We talk about personal issues.
  • When my big brother comes to visit, Krit always wants to know how long we snuggled (answer: forever)
  • I listened to Krit's delight at the discovery of his pregnant wife's new stretch mark. Apparently it looks like a cute smiley face
• We have fun together.
  • Back room karaoke: I was the Ken to his barbie, and he was the Kid Rock to my Sheryl Crow
  • We're planning an April Fool's Day joke to replace the coffee maker in the break room and put a sign on the new one that says "voice activated"
• We read each other's minds.
  • When a girl walks by with a perfectly made up face and sweats, we shake our heads. No honey, no. Please let us help
  • After dealing with colossal morons, he brings me coffee just the way I like it and tells me my nails look fabulous :')
• We have married couple arguments.
  • I hate that he leaves pictures of Leo DiCaprio's body with his own face pasted on in my desk drawers when I'm not looking.
  • He hates that I reorganize all of his things when he's not looking. I can't help it. Fuckboy, your affects are asymmetric.

Do you have a work husband or work wife? Tell me about him or her so I feel less sketched out about this whole thing  :)

Comments

[somewhereibelong]

I work alone... I guess that makes me a work bachelor or something?

[gladiolusinpurple]

But you have all of your lovely customers that come to visit. You play the field at work, Momoshiro-kun. You wild bachelor!

[somewhereibelong]

Playboy bachelor? I like the sound of that!

[gladiolusinpurple]

MMmmhm. Stealing everyone's hearts with your handsome looks and stunning bouquets.

[somewhereibelong]

Heh I don't think I'm stealing anything really! But it's a fun thought!

[auralhoney]

Well, at the very least your job is not dull. However, I would say pin him down and do his eyebrows anyhow. He would thank you for it later, I'm sure.

[gladiolusinpurple]

Do you know where to get a good pair of handcuffs in this town, Oshitari-kun?

Like you don't have any work stories.

[auralhoney]

I'm afraid I do not. Perhaps any number of the more... adult themed stores would sell them?

Oh, I have plenty of work stories. Some far more interesting than others, and some a little too personal to speak of.

[gladiolusinpurple]

Akihabara it is.

Teasing me? You've become cruel in your sickness, Oshitari-kun.

[auralhoney]

Definitely your best bet. Though I'm curious on why you would ask me...

I have always been this cruel, Taki. Just more so now that I need entertainment.

[gladiolusinpurple]

I'm new to Tokyo, simple as that.

How mean. You owe me at least one story when you come to stay at the hotel.

[auralhoney]

I think that can be arranged... How tame am I allowed to be?

[gladiolusinpurple]

What a pity, you've become a cheapskate.

It depends on how valuable you think my services are, Oshitari-kun.

[auralhoney]

A cheapskate? My my, someone was honestly hoping for the juicy stories so early, weren't they? You have to work up to those, you know.

[gladiolusinpurple]

Not so, I was honestly hoping that talking to me wouldn't be some great, dreaded chore.

[auralhoney]

And who said it would be? I find you to be enjoyable company, Taki.

[haratetsu]

He just doesn't want to tell you about the time I teamed up with the staff against him and made him laugh so hard that he had to go and laugh himself out. Took him about two hours. And the cornes of his mouth would twitch for the rest of the day whenever he saw me.

Edit! Death to the jungle OMG someone still doesn't do that?! JFC UNIBROWS

[gladiolusinpurple]

Haha, the secret is out, Oshitari-kun! Thank you for continuing to conspire against him~ Whatever did you do to keep him in stitches for an entire day?

Yes, yes, a million times yes. My disobedient work husband :'(

[haratetsu]

I'd prefer to keep that for myself, to keep the good working relationship, yanno? And because a good comedian never tells his jokes twice ;) But maybe he'll tell you when you ask nicely~

[auralhoney]

I was under the impression that was one of the things we wouldn't speak of. If I wasn't a man of my word, I would tell your dirty secrets...

[haratetsu]

I'...sorry? Except, no, I'm not.

I just had to~ In turn you can share one of those dirty secrets. Any.

[auralhoney]

As tempting as that may be, I don't think I will. Not immediately, at least.

[haratetsu]

Aw damn. Does this mean I just got myself a blackmailer? Yay~

[dr_speedy]

I and my department head are kinda... I make him coffee and I ask for his advice and probably make his head hurt a lot? But he always tells me conc crit when I do something wrong, and loves to tease the hell out of me whenever he gets the chance. And he always makes sure to ask my opinion.

Something like that?

[gladiolusinpurple]

It sounds like you have a very sweet work husband, Oshitari-san.

You probably don't make his head hurt as much as you think you do. People like being relied on too. And besides, teasing is oh so fun to deliever.