No dollar sign on a peace of mind, this I've come to know

[gladiolusinpurple]

Yesterday I overheard a conversation in a coffee shop about how everyone has a work husband/work wife. At first, I found that kind of silly. The more I rolled the idea around, the more I came to realize...my work husband is a forty-six-year-old front desk agent named Krit.

• We notice each other's appearances.
  • When I wear the lavender suit, he always says "Wow, Taki-chan, you look so hoochie mama."
  • Every day, I fight the urge to shove him down into a chair and pluck that awful unibrow. The man buys expensive face lotion to have the skin texture of a baby's bottom and shops only designer, but won't keep up his brow game. I deserve a medal for my patience.
• We talk about personal issues.
  • When my big brother comes to visit, Krit always wants to know how long we snuggled (answer: forever)
  • I listened to Krit's delight at the discovery of his pregnant wife's new stretch mark. Apparently it looks like a cute smiley face
• We have fun together.
  • Back room karaoke: I was the Ken to his barbie, and he was the Kid Rock to my Sheryl Crow
  • We're planning an April Fool's Day joke to replace the coffee maker in the break room and put a sign on the new one that says "voice activated"
• We read each other's minds.
  • When a girl walks by with a perfectly made up face and sweats, we shake our heads. No honey, no. Please let us help
  • After dealing with colossal morons, he brings me coffee just the way I like it and tells me my nails look fabulous :')
• We have married couple arguments.
  • I hate that he leaves pictures of Leo DiCaprio's body with his own face pasted on in my desk drawers when I'm not looking.
  • He hates that I reorganize all of his things when he's not looking. I can't help it. Fuckboy, your affects are asymmetric.

Do you have a work husband or work wife? Tell me about him or her so I feel less sketched out about this whole thing  :)

Comments

[auralhoney]

Definitely your best bet. Though I'm curious on why you would ask me...

I have always been this cruel, Taki. Just more so now that I need entertainment.

[gladiolusinpurple]

I'm new to Tokyo, simple as that.

How mean. You owe me at least one story when you come to stay at the hotel.

[auralhoney]

I think that can be arranged... How tame am I allowed to be?

[gladiolusinpurple]

What a pity, you've become a cheapskate.

It depends on how valuable you think my services are, Oshitari-kun.

[auralhoney]

A cheapskate? My my, someone was honestly hoping for the juicy stories so early, weren't they? You have to work up to those, you know.

[gladiolusinpurple]

Not so, I was honestly hoping that talking to me wouldn't be some great, dreaded chore.

[auralhoney]

And who said it would be? I find you to be enjoyable company, Taki.